I got married a long time ago and soon realized the white picket fence and two and a half kids was not likely to be my route in life. But, never in all of my thoughts of a possible future, never did I even conceive of the idea that one of my wifely duties would include fly sucking!
Having moved from Vancouver to a homestead in central Alberta, I learned to do a myriad of tasks I had never done before - things like hauling water, gardening, canning, chopping wood, butchering rabbits, even picking maggots from a wounded ewe. And I took these new life lessons more or less in stride as each surfaced into my sphere of existence. But fly sucking! Nope, not taking that in stride at all.
I just plain hate flies. In the fall of every year they slither into the house and make their home in every crack and cranny, then decorate all the windows with copious quantities of fly snot. Now I would never have thought of flies as the slithering type, but how else could you describe a critter that can apparently flatten itself paper thin and crawl around both screen and window frames seeking the household's interior warmth? I swear there are at least 100 of them buzzing away on every window each and every time I get out my fly sucking machine (known to most folks as a vacuum cleaner). Sometimes as often as three times a day I drag out my weapon of choice and suck away one window at a time till they're gone, at least for awhile. Then, like black magic, they reappear, buzzing, gliding, crapping! Filthy little beasts! Arrrggggh!
So ladies, beware of what your future may bring? If you live in the country, especially if your barnyard is close by and your house is not super air-tight, you had best be prepared to go on the attack every fall until freeze-up and every time the thermometer rises above freezing all winter long.
Maybe when the kids are out of school and you decide to go out to work to help out with their college fees, well, along with all the other skills you've acquired over the years, fly elimination technician may complete the education portion of your résumé! No doubt about it, you are most definitely a "Jill of all Trades"!
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