The Art of Mindful Neglect

People are stressed out, they say. So much to do, so little time, no time for themselves, no time for leisure, running here, running there, never catching up. We do what we must do and what we are taught to do, by our mothers, by our associates, by our society, our religion, our family traditions - there’s lots of influencing factors. But if we are truly so busy we barely have time to turn around, maybe we need to learn the art of mindful neglect.

Some people wash dishes before they put them in the dishwasher. Some choose to ferry their children to a myriad of extra curricular activities (and put in extra hours of work to pay for them). Some keep their floors so clean you could sit down on them and use them for a plate! Some work incessantly to keep up appearances.  I know women who think they need to iron sheets - really, no joke! I stopped ironing 48 years ago when my cat decided my basket of ironing was a good place to have her kittens.  Everything in that basket was ruined but that cat sure simplified my life!

This Christmas we had no Christmas tree, other than a 2 foot pre-decorated one. Our grandgirls did wonder, for a moment, why we didn’t put up our usual big tree, but the fact that it was missing was soon forgotten in a whirl of festivities and good food. Just this wee decision contributed, in a small way, to a more relaxed Christmas holiday for me, from the Solstice to the New Year. 

I am retired, sort of - anyhow I no longer work off farm and my husband does most of the outside chores, so I am in a good position to pick and choose what I do. But retired, unless you are lucky enough to do so prior to 65, could be redefined as tired again. Somehow it takes longer to accomplish the basics of domestic engineering than it once did. Younger people frequently have more to accomplish in a day than a retiree. Fortunately they have more energy, but there are limits! Pushing these limits too far, adding even one more responsibility when you are already overwhelmed, can tip you over the edge, effecting not only you but your family as well.

There’s many things we cannot avoid, many demands on our time, but there’s some things we could simply choose to ignore and our world won’t fall apart, it will just readjust itself to a new normal and continue on. This is the art of  mindful neglect. Look at what you’re doing. What does it accomplish, is it necessary or frivolous, would life be much better if you do it, or worse if you don’t? Are you doing it for yourself, for others, for another’s perception of you? Much of the time we complicate our own lives, little added activities/chores compound into one big time grab. Mindful neglect does not add up to careless disregard. It’s simply a way of decluttering what, on careful inspection, might be an overloaded to-do list.