Downward Dog

I have invented a new exercise routine, requiring no equipment purchase and guaranteed to improve balance and reach. I call it “downward dog” but it has no relationship to the yoga position of the same name. You need:

               1) a very large, quite old and arthritic Akbash dog,  

               2) and 3) two medium sized Border Collies, and

               4) one small but weighty, deaf Lhasa Apso, Jack Russell cross**.

These four pieces of household equipment simply need to remain in places of their own choosing, a position which seems to suit them quite well and requires no encouragement.

In my case dog number one will move but prefers not to, makes quite a show of creaking up to a standing position and lumbering out of the way. He stays in my kitchen (his size and copious quantities of shedding hair have made this a necessity), usually on one of the stress relief mats in front of the sink or stove or on the door mat, and he willingly accommodates my exercise program by always being exactly where I want to work. 

Dogs 2 and 3 are excellent contributors to the program. Anyone who has ever met a Border Collie knows that when focused on anything they sit very still, stare, sometimes tremble, and are absolutely oblivious to anything other than the subject of their focus.They are also affectionate, jealous of one another, and tend to vie for attention via soft frisbee, ear scratches, or jumping on chairs and laps.

The fourth dog - well he’s privileged. He knows it’s his right to sleep like a stone on the bed right where I’d like to move my legs, take his rightful position next to me when sitting, or reside under the footrest of my recliner.

The secret to this exercise routine is simple. Work around and/or over these immobile pieces of equipment. Stretch to reach household items without causing a disturbance, avoid tails and paws by delicately stepping between them in a ballet-like position, gently push bodies aside when absolutely necessary, and acquire a sort of sliding gait at night to avoid collision. This exercise routine can easily be practiced daily (and nightly) with no special set up on your part, no expensive exercise clothing or shoes, and is a spontaneous activity which has, at times, the ability to get your adrenaline pumping.

• Caution, this routine is not recommended for everyone. Extreme caution must be taken to avoid falls and/or strain from twisting into peculiar positions. And, as is always suggested before beginning any exercise routine, be sure to consult your doctor.
• ** Note: Other dog breeds may be substituted - perhaps an old Bullmastiff, a Cocker Spaniel and a couple of toy Poodles…