I just finished reading a book called "The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules" by Catharina Ingleman-Sundberg, one of those free or nearly free Book-Bub e-books. It's about a group of seniors who escape from an old folks' home in Sweden and commit a crime so that they will be put in prison, a place which they think will be far superior in every way - better food, more choice, cable TV, library, exercise in the fresh air, jobs to do... The "home" they reside in is abysmal - plastic food, doors locked, pills to keep people settled, no fun, very little in the way of entertainment.
I've heard that "prisons are better" idea dozens of times. "We should commit a crime! Prisoners are better off than seniors!" And it could be true. But would we want to hang out with crooks of all kinds? Goodness! Would an elderly person be bullied in prison?
I wonder though, is respect the norm in publicly funded senior homes? You hear such terrible stories. You are quite powerless when you're old, at least when you're to the point where you require assistance to accomplish your daily routine. Let's face it, most of us say we NEVER will and never want to move to a senior home. BUT there could come a time...
Good health - that's the key. Without health, physical or mental, you slowly become dependant. For awhile your dependence can be absorbed by your family. Then one day they can no longer cope.
Many of us cared for elderly parents and we don't want to inflict this burden on our own children. But here's the thing that scares us about "assisted living". Once you're in a senior care situation you begin to lose your individual rights. At some point your doctor, your family, someone besides yourself, decides it's time for you to move to the next stage in the system. Husbands and wives are sometimes separated due to differing care requirements. You get shifted according to your physical needs and/or mental capacity. Your societal needs - friendships, familiarity with your environment, with the staff, individual preferences - all take a back seat to the institutional structure.
Many who are in-care are unable to speak for themselves. I've always said, if you're in care you had better have an advocate, someone who visits often and makes sure you're being treated well. But I've spoken to people who either had a family member in care or worked in a care facility. Advocates that perceive shortcomings are none too welcome. Stressed and/or short staffed care workers (who may be in underfunded situations not under their control) don't want someone in their face telling them they're not doing their job properly.
I have lived in the same house, on the same farm, for 42 years. I could just about get around blind and deaf. I don't want to leave here unless I'm in a box, neither does my husband. I've slowed down some but I still garden, have sheep, make a fire every morning, cook and clean, go for walks, jam with my friends, have a dog, like to party. All of this would go if I moved to town to a senior home. I'd have reading, writing, and TV. I'd be safe, could make some new friends...but I think I'd be bored silly. That's something I've noticed - people who live in towns and cities get bored when in the country for any length of time. Townies may be surprised, but people who live in the country get bored in town.
Most of my friends are country dwellers. Discussion of these issues comes up in gab sessions, even with the youngsters (between 50 and 65). We wonder, why can't there be facilities for seniors out in the country? Places where you could have a dog, a fenced yard, a small garden, go for walks on unpaved ground - surely it wouldn't be that difficult! For staff you'd need (part or full time): an LPN (licensed practical nurse), a cook (real food), a maintenance person (who would double as a gardener and a driver), and a housekeeper. You could have about 8 tiny homes attached by covered walkway to a main building where meals would be served. Everyone would have wifi and satellite TV. There could be an exercise room, a family entertainment space, a kitchen (residents would be allowed to cook if they wished), dining area, maybe one of those fancy bathtubs made especially for seniors. It could all be worked out. It would be pretty much a cooperative effort amongst the residents. Ahhh, dream on...
As our kitchen table conversation goes on we all realize we would have to do all this ourselves; government sponsored places are unlikely to stray from their norm. It seems quite impossible and very unlikely that we would get organized before it's too late. Questions arise. Where would we do this? Everyone loves their own place! No one wants to move. How would we finance this senior utopia? So the discussion fizzles out and we put the idea on the back burner.
But there's something we can do, we can and should investigate what services are currently available for seniors who opt to remain in their country homes, eligibility criteria, cost, ease of access. If services are minimal, underfunded, understaffed, we should determine our needs and lobby local (and provincial) government to upgrade these services. From many different sources I have heard that it's less expensive to care for seniors in their own homes than in an institutional setting. So beefing up rural care services may simply be a matter of letting funders know what's needed. It would be a win win situation.
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